Hi all, thank you for all the prayers, messages, sweet words, support for my family over the past 19 months as we faced Glioblastoma. 

Ryan went into ER Monday morning after vomiting and a headache. We found out that his growing brain tumor was causing hydrocephalus which means excessive fluid pressure / build up within his brain. It was pinching off one of his one ventricles in his brain causing improper CSF fluid movement. The doctor told us only the high steroid I gave him the night before was keeping him alive and that unfortunately Ryan’s last hours were coming. We planned on keeping him on steroids till we were ready to wean off and say our goodbyes. 

We were transported home via ambulance on hospice and the kids were able to hug, cuddle, kiss on Daddy. Things took a turn after a couple hours and were more intense and not as peaceful as we had hoped for which was heartbreaking to watch. Firefighters helped hospice and Ryan get on top of pain, and was able to get him to a calm peaceful state for the last few hours thankfully. 

Ryan’s parents, my parents, our siblings, and I all were in the room when Ryan went to Heaven. As it was happening I prayed over him and we surrendered him back to the Lord and thanked him for allowing us to love him. I had my hand on his heart and told him to go be with Jesus and to tell him “hi” for me… his heart stopped beating in my hand and took his last breath Monday at 11:26pm ❤️‍🩹 

We are all in shock, processing our grief, emotions, and reminiscing on memories. It all happened so fast. His body was strong, he fought hard till the end. 

All of our “angels” helping us this day were so specifically picked by God from the Neurosurgery NP who told us the new at hospital she gave us the first and last news about Ryan, to our Pastors Jonathan & Lindsey Hanson already planning that morning to come pray over Ryan and family, to Ryan’s sister Toni having contact for hospice and supporting me in those dark moments at the hospital, to my Mom and Dad who spent the night when it all happened in the morning I couldn’t have been alone with the kids trying to help Ryan, to Ryan’s parents and dear friends coming right away to his side, the hospice nurses, and an amazing group of firefighters and paramedics we saw a few times that day. 

We have peace knowing he is completely restored, healed, and in complete happiness seeing Jesus face to face. I know without a doubt God said “with you I am well pleased” when they greeted. He was a man after God’s heart, and loved his family and friends fiercely. He told me, “if one person comes to know the Lord from my trial and testimony it was all worth it”. 🥹 

The biggest ways you can help our family is by sharing our GiveSendGo link, and praying for peace and joy in our grief. Thank you again for all your love and support. Ryan was my best friend and I will forever miss him, but will always carry him with me reminding these babies how much their Daddy loved them. 

Our prayer for Ryan’s miracle was to be fully healed, and he got his miracle even though it wasn't here. God is good in every valley and every mountaintop. 

Hi everyone, I know it’s been a minute since we updated you all on Ryan and our family. To be honest for a while we didn’t have the energy because all we could muster up was “This is so hard and we so tired”.

We are currently in the hospital because Ryan has a pulmonary embolism saddling from the right to the left. Please pray that his heart stays strong and the blood thinners do their job 🙏🏻 

When we got back from OC after a month of inpatient rehab unfortunately Ryan relapsed in movement and mobility. Life felt beyond chaotic learning our new normal, and gaining another role as a caregiver on top of what already felt hard. In addition, Ryan struggling and frustrated not able to do simple tasks without his left hand / leg working properly.

Ryan can now walk assisted with a cane. His current complaint is the “tone” in his arm and leg are softening (which is good) but the dead weight from his extremities pull on his hip and neck/shoulder area causing pain awake and sleeping. 

We have been traveling to OC for treatment and MRIs every 2 weeks. At one point, we drove or flew every week in a row for a month. It’s been nonstop travel since end of March deciding surgeons / treatment / etc. In addition to therapy appointments 4x a week in Sacramento. 

Ryan started his customized vaccine made with his tumor (the box I took to Irvine on surgery day) along with his white blood cells to teach the T-cells to the bad T-cells when it’s injected. Currently the vaccine is once a month after the initial 3 doses, the Avastin infusions are every 2 weeks, and MRIs every 4 weeks. He started a targeted medicine called Tagrisso to help the cells with a mutation that we found in his pathology that is hard to get for GBM, but our neuro oncologist was able to get it for us - it costs 4.5k / 15 days. We also met with a doctor who specializes in cannabis who have helped patients reach stabilization or reduction of GBM with different protocols and blends. 

Ryan had an MRI every 4 weeks and the last few weren’t necessarily “clean” but they were practically the same which is good news to us because with GBM a scan can change dramatically in a month with this awfully aggressive disease. 

We recently had a scan done on Tuesday and found out Wednesday that unfortunately all the treatment we have been doing is not working. 🥹 His brain tumor has now gone from his right temporal lobe into his frontal lobe, partial, spreading into the left side, and now his brain stem. They took away his vaccine and Tagrisso, and have left us with doing radiation again as our only option left to try + told us it’s time to think about quality of life decisions. 

We are truly heartbroken and believed in a miracle for Ryan. We know he will be fully healed if not here, but in heaven. We are expected to have a “few” months together if we do radiation. We are having all the feelings as if we found out his diagnosis all over again. As a wife and mom, I never expected to think about the future without Ryan in it. I assumed we would become old and grey together. Heartbroken and grieving the kids future, my future without him knowing we will be okay but gosh dang it hurts to think about. Anticipating losing your best friend and Daddy to your babies so soon is a whole new level of pain. 

We believe in God’s healing power for Ryan. We know He has gone before us in this battle and hasn’t left our sides. Last year we were running on a bit of adrenaline. After Ryan’s 2nd craniotomy the reality of this battle truly sunk in. This isn’t a testimony of an over romanticized way where God made every moment perfect yet times where we were completely at our end. -But God- was right there with us. He never left us, he never allowed us to face it alone even crying on the floor completely torn into two. Challenge after challenge, blindsided in multiple ways, tired of the curveballs and honestly can say we would have not have been able to come to the other side if it wasn’t for Jesus. The type of raw painful beautiful moments where all I could do was cling to was the hem of his garment, with nothing left to give. A lot of people say “I don’t know how you’re doing it” - I honestly don’t know either, all I can say is “it’s God”… 

We appreciate your prayers and generous donations to our family. We were brought to tears multiple times with the way God provided through you all. We currently face a lot of out of pocket medical bills, costs for each injection, past travel to OC every month, and day to day living. 

We thank you again for even the kind words, a hug, multiple texts, a dinner drop off, a sweet card… I’m not the best with texting with so much on my plate so I appreciate when someone reminds me they texted me <3 

Ryan had his second craniotomy at UCLA, he was in surgery for about 8 hours. During his surgery I was able to successfully get some of the tumor tissue down to a biomedical company in Irvine to create a treatment for him which we will use in the future. 

The surgeon was able to get 90%+ out, “if not all of it that’s viable outside of microscopic cells” 😭 

They were able to get it off the blood vessels… And it wasn’t in his motor band, just pushing up next to it 🥹

When Ryan woke up from surgery his sensory and motor on the left was gone. It was quite shocking as this wasn’t like our last experience at all.

Every day he is making big improvements with feeling, touch, and strength. We are praying for a FULL RECOVERY for Ryan 🙏🏻

We are getting transferred down to Hoag in Newport Beach to do inpatient therapy. Prayers for a smooth transfer, God to restore his brain, patience, and perseverance for Ryan with the mental toll on his brain. 

He has been working hard trying to connect the brain pathways again and teach his brain how to move muscles again essentially caused from the “hole” in his brain.  

Every day he is improving slowly but surely. I’m so proud of him and remaining positive and trusting in God to full restore him. 🥹

Last week we had a last minute drive to UCLA to do an MRI with a pre-op appointment for potential surgery this week. Yesterday we had our call with the surgeon at UCLA, after reviewing Ryan’s MRI we found out the tumor has grown unfortunately, and it’s about 4cm currently. Thankfully Ryan hasn’t had symptoms with its growth, however, it’s grown around major blood vessels and is also pushing up against or infiltrating his motor band now.

We are proceeding with surgery on Friday, it’s at 7:30am (6-8 hrs) because we don’t want to wait over a month for the trial at UCLA. During surgery I will be driving down Ryan’s tumor tissue to Irvine for a vaccine treatment to be used in the future. 

Our treatment plan afterwards is slightly up in the air and it’s been a little overwhelming trying to decipher which path is the correct one as it feels like throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. 

We need prayers that Ryan’s cough disappears before Friday, the blood vessels do not spasm during surgery, Ryan will have no deficiencies when he wakes, and recovery will be smooth. Along with prayers for peace over us and specifically Gianna’s heart, a sound mind, God to show us He has his hand physically over this whole situation, and safety while traveling.

Hi all,

It's been a chaotic couple weeks of calling around trying to navigate through surgeons, looking at clinical trials, and putting pieces together. Unfortunately cancer doesn't come with a guide book and you have to do so much leg work on your own. The good news is that we have options at this point, just challenging to know what the best option is to do first.

The surgeon we pick determines where we can do a clinical trial but also if they will share tumor tissue to use for clinical trials we are trying to get into.   

We are scheduled for two final calls Tuesday and Wednesday of next week so we can make decisions on surgery. Surgery will be on April 10th in Los Angeles or April 12th in San Diego.

We need prayers for the right path to be illuminated loud and clear once we have those calls. Also for protection over Ryan that he will not have symptoms (headaches/weakness/nausea/seizures) before we get to our actual scheduled surgery date. In addition, timing to work out with my work schedule coming up as Spring is just as busy as Fall for me.

Clinical trials we are looking at are the DC Vax and VBI-1901 Vax with immunotherapies. He will be going off Optune till his wound heals. 

We are going to be frequently traveling to LA or San Diego/Irvine area.

One of the options costs quite a bit more financially, but Ryan would be guaranteed to get the combination of treatment right away...

There is also the risk of the hospital/surgeon not being able to share the tissue the day-of surgery properly. If that happens we’d be at square one again without another surgery.

We need prayers for God's hand of protection over all aspects of this process, and God to provide the finances needed. Have a wonderful Easter weekend, will update more next week!