Church bells tolled for a funeral today. I don't know who they were for, but as I watched the rain out the window and listened to them I lost count. This person led a full and long life. Our church bells will ring only nine times for our son.

Isaac's scans did not go well. In three short weeks the amount of tumors at the base of his spine more than doubled, and he has multiple new spots in his brain. There are also definite malignant cells in his spinal fluid. The vaccine trial that we had so much hope in has failed, and with one phone call we went from fighting for a cure to deciding how to keep Isaac comfortable during the next 3-4 months. Glioblastoma is a very aggressive tumor, and Isaac's will not respond to traditional chemotherapy. Targeted chemo acts more like an inhibitor, and has minimal side effects. Isaac will start as soon as insurance approves it, and the hope is that it will slow the spread of cancer and add up to three months, making his life expectancy 3-6 months.

This is not what we have hoped and prayed for the last nine months. Even though we knew from the beginning that the odds were stacked against Isaac, we kept praying for a miracle. God can still work a miracle, we have no doubt. We don't understand this, but we do trust that God has a plan for Isaac, even though it is not the plan we so desperately wanted. That, and the hope of Heaven, is the only thing keeping us going. Isaac has spread joy and laughter to countless doctors, nurses, and other sick kids. His faith in Jesus shines constantly, and even after we told him the news he thought of others before himself. How bad he feels for his cousin (13 days apart in age and super close), his brother, and that at least the doctors learned from him with the trial and hopefully that can save another kid someday. He is the bravest, most amazing kid I have ever known, and despite this pain, I am so incredibly grateful that God picked me to be his mom. Isaiah and Annabelle have also been incredible through all of this. They certainly have earned the title of 'Super Siblings.'

The new tumors are small, and Dr. Bendel believes Isaac has about two months before they start to impact him too much. We will make the most of the time we have left, and do the things Isaac loves while he is still doing so well. Camping, fishing, swimming, Legos, family pizza night and games, etc.
Thank you for all of your support thus far, and please pray for strength in the upcoming months. I asked Isaac if he wanted to share a bible verse with you, and this was his choice.

"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

This cancer needs a cure, and awareness will help with the momentum. Also, Isaac wanted to grow up to be a pastor and share his love for Jesus. This will be the way he shares it.